Mercy Kill

"I did not give you permission to become an adult."
"Silly. If I’d grown up, would I be doing this?"
"You make a good point."
Voort & Myri (MC)

"Now I need you to menace me. Loom over me. Give me some good Gamorrean insults."
"You have the color sense of a monkey-lizard and I suspect you pour sugar on your meat loaf."
"Insults are not your field of expertise, are they? [...]"
"Your scores in calculus are an atrocity, and you think square roots refer to artificial hair!"
"Don’t make me laugh..."
Myri & Voort (MC)

"But maybe it’s time for someone to be proud of what I do. Maybe even me."
"Most of the people I’m proud to have known died making me proud, Myri."
Myri & Voort (MC)

"You’re working with a Yuuzhan Vong."
"And a Clawdite and a Gamorrean and several humans, and, worst of all, a Corellian."
Voort & Bhindi (MC)

"I’m just saying that if they’re going to name a huge, overfunded, state-of-the-art army base for Fey’lya, the city named for Admiral Ackbar had better be glorious."
Voort (MC)

"My father was on the Death Star Trench Run. You know, the famous one. Me, I get the General's Basement Trench Crawl."
Myri Antilles (MC)

"Who are you?"
"My name if Usan Joyl. Who are you?
"Usan Joyl?"
"No, that's me."
"Who's Usan Joyl?"
"I am."
Myri, Usan Joyl & Trey (MC)

"Tell me you don't have a single joker on your team and I'll buy you a bottle of sixty-year-old Correllian brandy."
"I don't have a joker on my team."
"But it has to be the truth."
Voort & Sharr (MC)

"How do you get centimeter readings on that?"
"Measuring by eye. I take an average of the heights of the Pop-Dogs in the immediate vicinity, compare that with the average heights of the military men of their respective species-"
"Which you've memorized?"
"Which I remember - and compare that to my readings. Then I calculate distances from those Pop-Dogs to the target and adjust for the difference."
"Will you do my taxes?"
Wran & Voort (MC)

"The one who have fallen, would they smile to know that all you do is grieve and count your losses?"
Scut (to Voort) (MC)

"Very good. Clearly, we have fallen in with scoundrels."
"I feel very comfortable with them. I'd be more comfortable if we weren't being bombarded."
Usan & Dashan Joyl (about theWraiths) (MC)

"Who the hell did you call for help, anyway?"
"I called Daddy."
Thaymes & Myri (MC)

"You came fast."
"It felt like forever. You try borrowing two war machines, a shuttle, and two crazy pilots on short notice. I had to cash in some serious markers."
"It's not that hard. I just did it."
Myri & Wedge (MC)

"Piggy, you will not recruit from my children."
Kirney (MC)

"This place actually feels weirdly like home."
"We haven't yet put explosives under all the floors to blow the place up when we leave. Then it becomes like home."
Voort & Jesmin Tainer (MC)

"I've been piloting since Gamble Girl was seven."
"I've been piloting since I was seven."
Sharr & Myri (MC)

"It's not your top priority. Keeping the suit from digesting Turman is still number one."
"What?"
"And the Thaal masquer - also more important."
"Decorations will be priority three, then."
"Digest me?"
Voort, Turman & Scut (MC)

"How is it?"
"Like putting on an ambience suit that someone has poured warm butter into. But it occurs to me that if you could add a vibrator function, you could sell three trillion of these."
Scut & Turman (SC)

"We sleep. Stavin-First spawn come. We wake. Share or eat?"
"He means we have settled on their world while they hibernated belowground. What do we do now - share the world and its bounty, or eat one another? Meaning wage war."
"Oh. What do they taste like?"
"Embassy-Who-Climbs", Colonel Gidders & General Thaal (MC)

"Thaymes, you make us all proud: Sixteen shots, no hits on the ball, and you killed me, Drikall, and Jesmin, and Voort twice, for a total score of negative ten."
"Thank you all. I couldn't have done it without you."
Trey & Thaymes (MC)

"Welcome back. Don't unpack: you're going to Chiss Space."
"Tell me you're joking."
"I'm joking. Sit. Eat. Drink. Report."
Voort & Sharr (MC)

"At a certain point, Viull, you'll learn that you just can't keep protecting your parents from themselves. Parents are wild, hormone-addled, uncontrollable creatures. As you'll understand someday when you're a parent."
Mulus Cheems (MC)

"How's the package?"
"Your package at Skifter Station, Sharr's package on Skifter Station, or our package here?"
[...]
"Leader, we have to come up with better 'package' designations."
Trey & Drikall (MC)

"Well, now you're at that point. A point your father doubtless hit when he was younger than you, just joining the Rebel Alliance. The point where you ask yourself, Can I kill someone I'm not sure is guilty?"
Voort (to Myri) (MC)

YOUR FUTURE REVEALED.
CLOSED FOR MEAL. WE PREDICT YOU WILL RETURN IN ONE HOUR.
Sign at the Wraiths' changing booth (MC)

[all credits for these great quotes belong to Aaron Allston, the author of "Mercy Kill"]