Solo Command

"And unlike the rest of you, he hasn’t yet time to ruin his career or his mind."
"Then he won’t do. Send him home. Get us another lunatic."
"Excuse me!" [hopping up to stand in his seat] "Elassar Targon, master of the universe, reporting for duty!"
"I withdraw my objection."
Wedge, Wes & Elassar (SC)

"How long has it been since you’ve been on a date, Wedge? I don’t think some of the Wraiths were born then."
Wes (SC)

"So, who are you seeing?"
"What I’m seeing is kitchen duty in your immediate future."
Wes & Wedge (SC)

"I haven’t decided yet if she [Iella] is right for our commander. And the rest of the squad hasn’t voted yet."
Wes (SC)

"What are you doing?"
"I’m learning to play a variety of musical instruments using only the power of my mind."
Lara & Face (SC)

Lara: “Then you and Myn and Elassar give in to male biology and insult a bar full of soldiers, and Dia and I haul your battered bodies back to base.”
Face [to Myn and Elassar]: “You see what happens when we don’t get involved in the mission’s planning stage?”
(SC)

Here, all he could do was issue orders and hope they were so good that not many of his people died. They were never so good that none of his people died. Never.
General Han Solo (SC)

"Don’t do that. If Zsinj kills Solo, Wedge might be appointed to fill the vacancy."
Hobbie (SC)

"Show due respect. You speak of the only flight of Dinner Squadron. The one X-wing squadron with an undefeated record and no losses."
Runt (SC)

"Shalla? Dear friend, kind lieutenant?"
"Yes?"
"Will you kill me? Please?"
"I don’t think so."
"Runt, with your great strength, you could tear one of my arms off and say it was a handshaking accident."
[…]
"Kell, you hate me, don’t you? Well, I have an offer for you…"
"Not now, Elassar. We have more important people to kill."
Elassar (after inadvertently calling Han Solo a coward in his presence) , Shalla & Kell (SC)

"You know something? In spite of the way you seem to hate it, you’re pretty good at this management stuff."
"Don’t ever, ever say that. Someone important might hear you. And then I’d be stuck with it."
Wedge & Han (SC)

"Is this what it’s like for you?"
"You have no idea."
"From the bottom of my heart, I apologize, most sincerely, for every time I spoke up in a mission briefing. I mean it."
"I appreciate that, but I have to tell you: you’ve only just started to suffer."
Face & Wedge (after Face’s first briefing as Wraith One) (SC)

"I’m pleased to meet you. I need you to kill me. Nobody else will."
Elassar to Piggy (SC)

"Now you’re using that misfiring hunk of erratic machinery you refer to as a brain."
‘Ton Phanan’ to Myn Donos (SC)

Which meant doing something harder than he’d ever done before.
He might just have to forgive himself for letting his pilots die.
Myn Donos (SC)

"There’s something I wanted you to think about."
"What’s that?"
"Me."
"Rebel pilots have the biggest egos in all known universe."
"Well, it’s not like that. I’m asking out of a sense of fairness. Since I’m spending all this time thinking about you."
Myn & Lara (SC)

"'There’s no data without risk,' as one of my instructors used to say. We always wanted to shoot him for it."
Face (SC)

"I’m putting in a commendation for Lieutenant Janson for bravery."
"Like he needs another one."
"Maybe he can build a little fort out of them."
Face & Wedge (SC)

"All right, let’s find out if we have some chance of a future together?"
"I’m pretty sure I’m going to break your heart."
"Well, that’s a step in the right direction. Can I break yours, too?"
"Maybe you already have."
Myn & Lara (SC)

"Do you want your office restored, or will you be wanting to redecorate?"
Melvar to Zsinj (SC)

"And let me say I thought your holodramas and comedies were puerile, badly written things – though you rose above your material."
"Of course they were puerile. They were Imperial productions. But thank you."
Admiral Teren Rogriss & Face (SC)

"Until they decide that I’ve completely failed, I’m still a very important man."
Han Solo (SC)

"To convince the Provisional Council, we’re all going to become geniuses."
"I vote we start with Elassar. He has the farthest to go."
"No more. I surrender."
Wedge, Lara & Elassar (SC)

"Ugliest ship I think I’ve ever seen."
"It looks like the Falcon to me."
"Nothing could look less like the Falcon."
Han Solo & Capt. Onoma (SC)

"This is the last time, positively the last time, that I suggest to Face that the squad doesn’t always show enough appreciation."
Wes (SC)

"It’s a human custom. A new way to miscommunicate so you can find reason to kill one another."
Dia (about the language of flowers) (SC)

"You know, I can’t do it myself, because you’re my superior officer. But I could call Chewie down here, and tell him what you’ve just said, and then he’d beat you nearly to death with a hydrospanner. Maybe then you’d figure out how wrong you are."
Wedge to Han (who had just told him that he doesn’t deserve Leia, that he has nothing to offer her) (SC)

"Wedge Antilles, mutineer. That I have to see."
Han (SC)

"Wedge, you don’t speak Wookie."
"I – oh, Sithspit."
Wes & Wedge (SC)

"You know, you’ve finally earned my gravest revenge."
"You don’t ever take revenge. That’s beneath Wedge Antilles, Hero of the New Republic."
Wedge & Wes (SC)

"I do receive combat pay, don’t I?"
"If we’re fired upon, yes. Otherwise, you just get hazardous-duty pay."
[Chewie grumbles something.]
"Shut up, you."
"What did he say?"
"I don’t have to translate comments like that."
"Translate everything. I’ll decide what’s important and what’s not."
"He said he could guarantee I receive combat pay by pulling off my legs and hitting me with them."
"Well, that was very generous of him. You should have said ‘Thank you, maybe later.’"
"Sir, I think you lack an understanding of this Wookie’s violence-laden humor."
Squeaky & Wedge (SC)

"One reason. I’d like to hear one reason why I shouldn’t ship you off to Coruscant on charges of gross insubordination."
Wedge (to Myn Donos) (IF)

"I need you to understand that an officer who can’t rely on his own gut instinct is an officer who shouldn’t be commanding others."
Wedge (SC)

"Why me?"
"I can’t go to a friend. I don’t have any."
"Not since you shot on the last one."
"I can’t go to a subordinate officer. I’d just feel uncomfortable. Or to a superior."
"Which leaves the rest of us lucky lieutenants."
Wes & Myn (SC)

"You can’t look dignified when you’re having fun."
Wes Janson (SC)

"If you’re not having fun, you’re not enjoying your life. If you’re not enjoying your life – why even bother being alive?"
Wes Janson (SC)

"I’m asking career advice from a nine-year-old."
Myn (about Wes) (SC)

"Lieutenant, you’re out of uniform. And you know, wearing an Ewok as a swimsuit is a felony on some worlds."
"I’ve been so set up."
Wedge & Wes (SC)

"Nice rear, Lieutenant."
"Thank you for noticing, Lieutenant."
Shalla & Wes (SC)

"So, do you still think revenge is beneath Wedge Antilles, Hero of the New Republic?"
"I’m not sure anything is beneath you any more."
Wedge & Wes (SC)

"Just remember that, when it comes to pranks, you have the necessary enthusiasm, you have the inventiveness, you have the experience … I have the resources."
Wedge to Wes (SC)

"And remember what a very wise man once told me – ‘You can’t look dignified when you’re having fun.’"
"If I knew who that wise man was, I’d shoot him."
Myn & Wes (SC)

"We’ve installed a miniature holocomm unit worth more than the rest of the ship put together. Yes, Face?"
"Sir, is it a bad time to point out that a good shot of brandy is worth more than the rest of the ship put together?"
"Yes."
Wedge & Face (SC)

"Pretty. What do we blow up first?"
Myn (SC)

"Report, Squeaky."
"Are you sure you want to know? It’s not good."
"Do you want to walk home? Report."
Wedge & Squeaky (during battle) (SC)

"Chewbacca, can’t we do all this without the participation of enemy forces?"
Squeaky (SC)

"One minute a general, the next minute a sheetmetal worker."
"That’s life in the armed forces."
Squeaky & Wedge (SC)

"I wish I’d been someone else. To give you that chance you wanted."
Lara to Myn (SC)

"Begging your pardon, sir, but you’re crazy enough to be a Wraith."
"Until you’ve crewed with me for a few years, kid, you have no idea what ‘crazy’ means."
Face & Han (SC)

"Zsinj will kill you for this."
"No, he’s going to kill me for several other things."
Medic & Lara (SC)

"Kolot, we’re the same thing, you and I. We’re both lies that eventually became the truth."
Lara (IF)

"You’ve already reprogrammed yourself. That’s enough."
Tonin to Lara (SC)

"Zsinj, I’m not a rich man. Not really an ambitious man. Maybe you should take that into account. It means that you can never cost me as much as I’ve cost you."
Han Solo (SC)

"I’m coming back to Rogue Squadron. That was the deal."
"Wes, the Wraiths don’t want you anyway."
"That’s right. You’re unlucky."
"I hate how serious he is all the time."
"We don’t like the way he chews his food."
"But we’ll miss his rear end."
Wes, Wedge, Elassar, Dia, Runt & Shalla (SC)

"Commander Square Corners himself, showing a streak of duplicity. Lying by omission. I can’t believe it."
Han to Wedge (SC)

[all credits for these great quotes belong to Aaron Allston, the author of "Solo Command"]